EQ, an IQ ally

By Noralyn O. Dudt

We often talk of IQ (intelligence quotient) as if that's what matters the most. IQ, the measure of a person's reasoning ability is supposed to gauge how well someone can use information and logic to answer questions or make predictions. It is the measure of cognitive abilities, such as the ability to learn or understand  or to deal with new situations. It is then tempting to read a lot into someone's IQ score. Most non-experts think intelligence is the reason successful people do so well. Psychologists who study Intelligence find this only partly true. IQ tests can predict how well people will do in particular situations, such as thinking abstractly in science, engineering or art, or leading teams of people.  But there's more to the story. Extraordinary achievements depend on many things. And those extra categories include ambition, persistence, opportunity, the ability to think clearly, and with right  timing—luck.

As we all know, it's not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work and in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn't enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it's your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another.

IQ plays a role in how successful we become. But working on projects close to the heart and knuckling down to get them completed  may be more important. Recent research studies indicate that EQ (emotional intelligence) is the most sought-after interpersonal skills in the workplace. According to the study, 71% of employers value emotional intelligence more than technical skills when evaluating candidates. The technical skills that helped you secure your first promotion might not guarantee your next one. If you aspire to be in a leadership role, there's an emotional element you must consider. According to the study, emotional intelligence is what helps coaches successfully coach teams or a leader heads a committee.  Having high EQ enables you  to manage stress, deliver feedback,  and collaborate with others successfully.

Emotional Intelligence is defined as the ability to understand and manage your own emotions,  as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those  around you. The term was first coined in 1990 by researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey, but was later popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman.

More than a decade ago, Dr. Goleman highlighted the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership, telling the Harvard Business Review,  "The most effective leaders are alike in one crucial way. They all have a high degree of what has come to be known as emotional Intelligence." It's not that IQ and technical skills are irrelevant.  Indeed, they do matter as they are the entry level requirements for executive positions. However, whether you succeed as an executive will depend on your level of emotional intelligence.

The five key elements to EQ are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

People with high EQ can identify how they are feeling, what those feelings mean, and how those emotions impact their behavior and in turn, other people. As they are eager and curious to learn, they can easily embrace change  and receptive to feedback.  Having a strong sense of self-awareness, they can express themselves assertively, but with a great deal of empathy toward others. Such a balanced outlook  results in a more positive and successful outcome in the workplace.

The following  are signs of low Emotional Intelligence:

1. struggle with managing emotions

2. lack of empathy

3. inability to understand the feelings of others.

The good news is, emotional intelligence isn't simply an inborn trait that you either have or don't have. There are skills that can be learned to improve your emotional Intelligence:

1. develop greater empathy

2. get past negative emotional reactions

3. retrain your thoughts about a situation so you can change your emotional response

4. be kind to yourself and let go of feelings of self-doubt

5. make a sincere apology

6. learn to forgive others—a powerful tool that can improve your health and well-being.

Our emotions have a major effect on our behavior, which affect our everyday lives. Although we are bound to have moments of anger and frustration or worry and anxiety, these thoughts and feelings don't have to rule our lives. We don't have to "stew" or worry about things or replay sad thoughts inside our heads. We don't need to feel angry or annoyed by the person who cut us off on the highway, skyrocketing our blood pressure. There's no need to fret over why someone hasn't returned a call or text—and assume it's because of something we did.

Although it's a little harder to "manage" the emotions of other people—you can't control how someone feels or behaves—the ability to  identify the emotions behind their behavior will give you  a better understanding of where they are coming from and how to best interact with them. High EQ overlaps with strong interpersonal skills especially in the areas of conflict management and communication that are crucial skills in the workplace.

Employees who can self-regulate their emotions are often able to avoid making impulsive decisions—they think objectively before they act. Operating with empathy and understanding, and none of that "my way or the highway" attitude, is a critical part of teamwork. Success in the workplace depends on how you can navigate the social complexities that are there. Social complexities as when to let go of too much "control" on your team, allowing each team member to exercise his/her own judgement that would benefit the whole organization.