“SOME Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?’” (Mt 19,3)
This is the opening passage of the gospel of the Mass on Friday
of the 19th Week in Ordinary Time. It brings out the question of
marriage and divorce that now is being hotly discussed in many parts of the
country.
Some proponents of divorce claim that we seem to be backward
since we are practically the only country that does not have a divorce law yet.
It’s an argument that does not really need any serious attention. Truth is, we
should be very proud that we do not have a divorce law, since divorce is from
beginning to end an anomaly.
Divorce clearly goes against the very nature of marriage that is
validly entered into by a couple. It breaks something that is supposed to be
lifelong, regardless of the things that can take place in it.
As the couple vowed on their wedding day, they committed
themselves to be wedded to each other “for better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us
part.”
Of course, the nature of marriage is defined not by us but by
God, the Creator. And as Christ himself said it clearly, when a marriage takes
place, “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore, what God has joined together, a man must not separate.” (Mt 19,5-6)
Perhaps to explain it in more common language, we can say that in
marriage it is presumed that it is love that motivates the couple to enter into
it. And by definition, love is total self-giving which, in this case, since it
involves the use of the body which cannot be shared with anybody else once it
is given to one spouse, can only be entered into by one man and one woman and
for a lifetime.
The difficulties and challenges the couple meet in their marriage
are always to be expected. They always come, one way or another, in one form or
another, whatever one’s state of life is. But if the couple is animated by
their Christian faith, they know that these difficulties and challenges are the
occasions and reasons for their love to grow even stronger and more meaningful.
The nature of marriage can be defined by just looking at it,
discerning what it is supposed to be, what its purpose is, etc. It’s based on
the nature itself of man who for his proper development needs an institution to
perpetuate himself and his descendants in a way fit for his dignity.
And this can only be marriage as it is known up to now—a
life-long commitment between a man and a woman, based on the fullness of love
that includes the use of the body.
We are capable of entering into this commitment, and this
commitment also in turn helps in developing us toward full human maturity. We
are capable of this commitment because in spite of our changing conditions
there is something in us—precisely our spirit, our soul, our heart and
will—that enables us to remain constant and consistent even as we face varying ircumstances.
That is why, more than our bodily senses and powers, we really
have to take care of our spiritual faculties, because they are the main engine
for our development and our fidelity in our commitments.
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