There are
a lot of things in life that we take for granted and one of them?
Manners. Good manners just mean showing respect and consideration for
others in how we behave and how we treat each other.
“Self-respect is at the bottom of all good manners”—Edgar
S. Martin
Starting with introductions, introduce a younger
person to an older one and a man/boy to a woman/girl. This shows special
respect to those of greater age as well as to females. Men shake hands
with each other and shake the hand of a woman when she extends her hand
out. When introducing an individual to a group too large to mention their
names individually (or you can’t remember all their names….this happens really
often), it is perfectly correct to introduce the individual and ask the rest to
introduce themselves. Smile sincerely. Not being afraid of not receiving
one in return is just an indicator of your self-esteem. If they don’t
smile back, it’s not your loss; it’s their lack of manners. As Jonathan
Swift said, “Good manners are the art of making people comfortable in our
presence. The one who makes the fewest people uneasy, has the best
manners”.
When dealing with party invitations, formal ones
may say RSVP which stands for the French words respondez s’il vous
plait [Reply if you please].This means the sender would
like to know whether you are able to attend or not. If you accept an
invitation and later find out you can’t attend, notify your host/hostess as
soon as possible. During the pre-dinner/ dinner party, don’t set
down your glass on a table without a coaster. Any disposables like seeds,
stems should be put into a napkin unless another way for disposal is
offered. Here’s one I think, is often applicable to the type of
get-togethers I’ve attended lately—not just parties—even when with friends in a
bar or restaurant. With dips, ONLY DIP ONCE PER CHIP. This is not
just good manners; actually, it prevents spread of disease (eeeewwww!).
And, don’t forget if you were invited for dinner, don’t stuff yourself
with cocktails… leave space for the main event.
In a sit down or buffet dinner, presuming it is at
least formal enough to have a napkin included in the table setting, the first
thing to do is to place your napkin on your lap. You can use this napkin
to dab your mouth after particularly saucy or crumbly or soupy entrees but
pleez!—don’t blow your nose into it or use it to wipe your whole face’
perspiration. You’re supposed to have your hanky for that.
My mom used to tell me stories about their
schooldays. Part of their teachings and learning involved social graces,
table manners and the like. I remember being taught table settings in
elementary—which spoon or fork or knife to use at which portion of a meal but
social graces? Maybe I’ve forgotten any formal lessons we had.
Mostly I remember my Mom telling me what is and what is NOT proper.
Of course, I don’t always listen, and weed out what is convenient for me to
follow or ignore. Now as an adult and as a professional, sometimes I find
myself in a quandary as to how to go about introductions, how best to approach
certain situations without committing a faux pas. Not everyone will
recognize our errors, of course, but we never know when some of these pointers
will come in handy—in a manner of speaking.
What do you think?
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