Esteem others as always better than us

IF we want our life to be truly Christian and enjoy its true dignity even if it also involves some sacrifices, then we should cultivate the attitude of considering the others as always better than us.

St. Paul said is clearly: “Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phil 2,3-4)

He rounded it up by saying that Christ himself, “though in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross.” (Phil 2,6-8)

Of course, Christ himself was firm in this point. He washed the feet of the apostles, and insisted on doing this in spite of the protestation of Peter, if only to give them an example of how each one of them should treat others.

“The greatest among you must be your servant,” (Mt 23,11) he said, obviously referring to situations where one’s superiority over others in intelligence, talents, wealth, health, etc., should never be a cause to be proud and vain, but rather a stronger reason to serve others more and better.

This truth should be engraved in our mind and heart because, first of all, it is commanded to us by Christ himself, and secondly, because it really does good to us and enables us to gain merit for whatever we do to others.

We have to understand why this is so. This truth actually feeds our need to love that is often desensitized, if not completely snuffed, by the clever manoeuvrings of our wounded flesh, and the deceptive arguments of the devil and the world. These latter can offer us perks that seem irresistible but are actually poisonous.

We have to be most wary of the many attractive fallacies our flesh, the world and the devil can give us. That’s the reason why we always have to humble ourselves, to submit ourselves to some self-denial as Christ told us, since our tendency is to get blinded by these glib fallacies that play upon our wounded, sinful condition.

We need to esteem others as better than us, especially when objectively speaking we are in a superior position compared to them. Only when we do so can we love, which is what we always need to do, because we cannot love anyone who is not better than us.

Regarding others as better than us is a prerequisite for loving. And this should not be a result of comparing what we have. It should be a fruit of the conviction that each one is a child of God, no matter how disfigured that dignity is.

As such, everyone else deserves always to be loved, regardless. He therefore has to be better than us somehow. This is, of course, a matter of attitude that is based on our faith more than on anything else.

Precisely because of this faith-based attitude of considering others better than us regardless of whatever, we need to make certain adjustments in the way we think, and wage a continuing struggle against our tendency to consider people based only on some purely human criteria.

Everyone should be aware of this need and should do whatever he can to contribute in creating a culture that fosters and nourishes this attitude. As of now, this attitude is still considered a pariah, acceptable only to a few who are often considered, in the eyes of the world, as strange people.

We should try to inculcate this attitude to children as early as possible, quickly defending them whenever they find themselves in situations that undermine this attitude.

We have to learn the art of true love which can have 3 stages. The first is “eros.” That’s when we love somebody because we can get something from that person. The second is “filia,” which means we love somebody because we happen to share things in common with him.

The third one and the best kind of love is “agape,” where we love somebody regardless of whether that person reciprocates our love or not. This is pure self-giving, completely dispassionate and disinterested, but still full of affection and understanding.

Let’s hope that we can truly consider others as better than us so we can love them, and love them all the way, regardless.