‘Honorable’ and other musings

I recently received a letter from a mayor. She is requesting for my services. In the signature line, her name is preceded by "Honorable."

Here's a guide from the Washington School of Protocol:

"One NEVER (emphasis mine) describes oneself as "The Honorable"... others may address you as such, but you never use it in referring to yourself. Neither should you use "Honorable" in your own calling card."

Have an honorable day, everyone.

***

Anything that's too good to be true is most probably too good to be true.

Any financial scheme that promises huge returns on the basis of recruitment for membership or investment is clearly a scam. It's just a matter of time before it collapses.

Meantime, enjoy the party. Note though that whatever money you receive now, you did not earn it... You stole it from the future victims.

I hate scams and all those who perpetrate it either due to ignorance or plain greed.

***

In high school, Mr. Mina, my math teacher, was kind enough not to give me a grade lower than 80 so I can graduate with honors. In college, Prof. Jerusalem generously gave me a passing grade of 3.0 in algebra so I won't lose my scholarship. At the graduate school, Dr. Cruz and Dr. Silverio each gave me a hard-earned 2.75 in statistics and quantitative methods, respectively.

Today, I am a member of the Mathematical Society of the Philippines, and a coordinator of its (our) national convention held last week at Plaza del Norte.

Long live, mathematics!

***

Still, can't get over it.

Those media workers of GMA Balitang Ilokano are among the most diligent, truthful, and decent local broadcast journalists I know. Over the past years, they raised the standards of television news in Northern Philippines through the news program's relevant and substantial content. The Ilocos Times took notice of their impressive work and even named them as one of the Top Ten Ilocanos for 2013.

One Friday last month, they were informed that Balitang Ilokano has been axed, turning GMA Ilocos as a mere relay station. Without warning, these remarkable professionals, some of whom left their previous jobs to join the regional station's pioneering team in 2012, were thrown to unemployment. Itinapon sila na parang basura. The move, according to an official statement of GMA Network, is "geared towards increasing ratings and revenues of all of its regional stations from more efficient operations." Without euphemism and in very simple terms, it's all about the money.

GMA should now change its tagline from "Serbisyong Totoo" to Negosyong Malupit.

***

I lost my phone during my mom's 73rd birthday celebration held recently. It was attended by dear friends and neighbors. We are 99% sure about the culprit, but we'd rather keep silent about his/her identity. We have peacefully lived in our place for 43 years, and have always maintained good relations with neighbors. We deem it best to keep it that way.

I have used a cellphone for most of my life, yet this is the first time I have lost a gadget. It's my fault. Maybe I was careless; my friends know how absent-minded I usually get. Maybe I trusted too much, leaving my phone on the table the way I do when I am in the company of people I am comfortable with. Maybe I forgot that while our visitors were all good people, they were no saints... and even saints do fall into temptation.

And so I forgive, never mind that my phone has over two years of data in it, and never mind that it is very important in my line of work. Never mind, too, that I am not prepared to buy a new phone. Life has been good to me, and I cannot, without being an ingrate, whine too much and for too long about a lost phone or a neighbor's mischief.

By the way, I already had SIM replacement, and am using the same number on a temporary phone.

***

I heard that the main highlight in Laoag City’s golden anniversary celebration is a Miss Gay Pageant. I wonder why, of all possible activities, this is the centerpiece of a momentous event, but I am pretty sure it will be fun.

As always, the question and answer portion is an awaited part. Here are some hilarious questions I heard from a gay beauty contest in Batac. Gay or not, you can try answering them, too.

1. Asean Integration entails the cooperation of nine member states in terms of the economy, security, and cultural exchange. It aims to transform Southeast Asia into an economic powerhouse. Speaking of house, ano ang mas gusto mong laro nung bata ka: tagu-taguan o bahay-bahayan?

2.  Ilocos has is known as a gastronomic mecca because of very tasty food like miki, bagnet, empanada, and longganisa. This contributes to the influx of tourists, especially during summer. Ang tanong: Kung magkakaroon ka ng tatlong manliligaw, sino ang pipiliin mo: a) Ronald McDonald b) Jollibee, o c) Mang Inasal.

3. In the news today, the Aquino government shows strong resolve in the fight against graft and corruption. As a result of an investigation carried out by the Anti-Money Laundering Council, the bank accounts of VP Jejomar Binay have been frozen. Question: Sino ang mas gugustuhin mong maging: Elsa ng pelikulang Himala o Elsa ng pelikulang Frozen?

4. According to boxing experts, Pacquiao outboxed Mayweather in what was dubbed as the Fight of the Century. The American boxer has now closed doors on a possible rematch. Sino ang mas gugustuhin mong maging kalook-alike: Manny Pacquiao o Dionisia Pacquiao.

5. Finally, 7:50 na lang ang Ariel! Mas kaya na nating paputiin ang mga damit, lalung-lalo na ang ating mga uniform. Kung pagpipiliin ka, sino sa mga sumusunod na men in uniform ang gusto mong maging jowa: Pulis, sundalo, o bumbero?

Good luck, dear karikna, and hope you bring home the crown.

herdylayumul.com